Welcome to our utterly serious exposé, why Saint Bernards are not good dogs. Brace yourselves as we uncover the harrowing truth about these so-called ‘gentle giants’.
From their slobbery kisses to their shameful hoarding of space on the couch, prepare to be absolutely not convinced why you shouldn’t rush out and get one (or two) immediately.
Reason #1: Clearly Un-BEE-lievable: Saint Bernards Can’t Even Stick to Their Own Species

Reason #2: They’re Too ‘Cool’ for Regular Dog Duties

Reason #3: They Can’t Even Handle the ‘Ruff’ Stuff Without a Cat-Nap

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Reason #4: Master Manipulators with the 'Puppy Eyes' Ploy

Reason #5: Inexplicably Believing They're the Next Top Model

Reason #6: They Think They're Babysitters Now? Please, They're Just Fluffy Pillows.

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Reason #7: 'Mud Magnet' is Their Middle Name, and Cleaning Up is Yours

Reason #8: They've Redefined the 'Bed Hog' - Good Luck Finding Room for Yourself

Reason #9: They Think They're Helping with the Chores, but Really, They're Just in the Way

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Reason #10: Their Idea of a Bath is More of a Flood Event

Reason #11: Their Idea of 'Helping' is Just a Roll of the Story

Reason #12: They Invented a New Workout Trend: The Saint Bernard Squat

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Reason #13: Again, Saint Bernards, masters of personal space... said no one ever

Reason #14: Hopelessly devoted to ruining movie characters. Yoda's never looked so... droopy

Reason #15: Clearly, they make the most terrifying dragons. Kids will be so scared, they'll... want to cuddle?

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Reason #16: Their smiles are just too goofy to handle. Who wants a dog that looks this happy all the time?

Reason #17: Their idea of helping in the kitchen? A 'flourishing' disaster!

Reason #18: Saint Bernards as delivery dogs? More like package pilferers. Expect your parcels to be 'drooled on delivery'!

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Reason #19: They take Halloween way too seriously. Spooky? More like 'spoofy'.

Reason #20: 'Trust me, I'm a doctor.' If your nurse looks like this, maybe get a second opinion.

Reason #21: Clearly a menace to society. Look at him, terrorizing that small child with... affectionate gazes?

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Reason #22: Dreadful role models for kids. Teaching them early about the dangers of... gentle smooches?

Reason #23: They've got no sense of road safety. Hitching rides without a helmet? Pawsitively reckless!

Reason #24: Just look at that face. Absolutely no dignity. How can you take them seriously?
